


Till we can go back home

by mysV



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game), Star Wars: Kanan (Comics), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A Galaxy without Jedi isn't a happy Galaxy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Male Friendship, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysV/pseuds/mysV
Summary: “Cal?” Cal’s breath hitches, startled by the older one’s voice. He blinks a few times before turning his head to look at Caleb with a much softer, calmer expression on his face.“Hey.”“Are you okay?”“Yeah,” he turns to lay on his side, back now facing Caleb, “Just can’t sleep.”
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus & Cal Kestis
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Till we can go back home

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I can't have two characters close in age who have sing-songs names like Cal and Caleb and pretend they were not best friends at some point of their lives. Also, they are my babies, and I wanted to write something about they helping and supporting each other.
> 
> This is not shippy, through.

**Disclaimer** : Star Wars and all of its affiliated properties remains property of Lucasfilm and Disney.

* * *

Red, soft, messy hair rests on the pillows beside him. Cal’s arms wrap around fabric, breathing peacefully as his face snuggles into it more and more. It was a pillow. Cal was cuddling a karking pillow, and somehow Caleb, who now is Kanan everywhere except on his mind, know his friend is trying to wash memories off, not his own memories, but the one he had collected through the day.

This room was the cheaper they could find— _to say, it was very, very cheap_ —so they can save some credits, and after all they had go through together, sharing a bed wasn’t the worst thing in the Galaxy. Still, Caleb’s mind couldn’t stop racing. He looks up into the darkness, searching for something, anything, to ease his mind.

He misses his home, he misses the way meditation helped him to calm down his always active mind. He misses his favorite spot in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, he misses everything his life used to be.

However, has been a long time since he put meditation aside and starting using another stuff to calm himself, quickest sfuff, easiest stuff. He can't, he doesn't even dare to think about his Master and Grandmaster, he know he couldn't stand the sadness on their eyes. He also know Cal feels the same, Master Tapal still in his mind.

He rubs his eyes, feeling the tears that had been pricking at their corners, sighing as he accepts that he’s probably not getting any more sleep tonight than he had gotten any other night recently. He hears a slight movement beside him, but doesn’t think much of it.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he guess if it all would be easier if he had stayed on his own, being a smuggler and pretending Kasmir's teachings has been the only ones he ever had in his life.

Kasmir and him didn't even mean to stay in Bracca long, only enough to refuel their ship and find the quickest job in the zone. The Force pulling him, demanding his attention with a punch in his guts, guiding him to the probably the only other Jedi Padawan left in the Universe, was not in the plan.

He bites the inside of his lip and curses to himself internally, it was Cal— _Cal, his best friend back when their lives made sense, he used to sleep next to him in the crèche, they both played together in the Room of a Thousand Fountains and learned together in the Archives, Cal, who now was everything_ —or his reluctant alliance with Kasmir, sympathetic as he was, decided that two Jedi kids was too much a risk, too much a posibility to a Bounty Hunter to put a blaster bolt between the Kalleran's eyes or a Imperial to take two too preciate enemies to their lords.

The risk was too much. Kasmir left him without a word.

Caleb’s eyes flutter open, and the only thing he can see clearly is Cal’s face in the light that peaks through the window. He’s pale, a bit too pale, if Caleb is honest with himself, but is the worry on his face as he stares at the ceiling that makes Caleb’s stomach drop.

“Cal?” Cal’s breath hitches, startled by the older one’s voice. He blinks a few times before turning his head to look at Caleb with a much softer, calmer expression on his face.

“Hey.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he turns to lay on his side, back now facing Caleb, “Just can’t sleep.”

“You sure?” He squeezes his eyes shut, as if that would make it all go away, as if the harder he closes them the more free his is,

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He’s trying not to give anything away, but Caleb can see the way his body shakes with each breath, the way his shoulders tense with each word he says, and he can hear the way Cal sniffles as he finally opens his eyes.

There’s a lot of movement behind him, and then he hears something hit the floor. The pillow. He can feel a familiar warmth at his back, a gentle hand reaching for his. Caleb doesn’t hold the hand back just yet, still unsure if this is even what Cal needs right now.

“I’m right here.” Cal brings his own hand to rest on top of Caleb’s, gently grabbing it. Caleb tangles their fingers together, squeezing back. “I’ve got you.”

Cal closes his eyes again, sighing. He can already feel his body relaxing as the young man behind him begins to drift off once again.

“Thank you.” His voice doesn’t crack, his breath doesn’t shake, he feels safe.

Caleb whispers against his neck sleepily, Cal feeling himself begin to fade as well.

“I’m here for you, always.”

**.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading! :) I'm posting some fics I had in Tumblr and this is one of them. 
> 
> You can find me as [Kanaima](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kanaima)


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